my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize