He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
