He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
