Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
