She announced her abortion via fbk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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