that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
