oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
