No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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