hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
