hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
