there was a trapeze. enough said
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
