If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
