Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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