Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
