Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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