I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My bed smells like the plague
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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