Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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