guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
