Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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