Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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