youre lurking in front of me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
