Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
