You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
