but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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