Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
