eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
