dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
