Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
