he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
soo... how was my night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
