its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
