ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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