I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
