Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
