i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
