I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
