I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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