Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
