Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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