what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
