I'm lost and stupid without you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
