i just wanna soil my oats bro
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
