Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
