when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
