i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
