Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
