All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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