What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
