he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to calm my uterus...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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