I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize