Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
