you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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