does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
