I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
