Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
