Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize