OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
