my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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