return my video game
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
