i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
