it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
