Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
