I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
