This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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