All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
