You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
