How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
