I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
