In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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