My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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