I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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