he puts the penis in happiness.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
