Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
