Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
