Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
