So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We got so high we made milksteak
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
